Letting Go

I usually don't draw the same image twice. It's a rare occurrence for me to redraw a piece and so far I've only ever done it with The Tree of Dreams. But this is starting to change as I begin to open myself up to explore a particular image in different perspectives. This change was a result of my interest in sustaining a series of work that has a unifying theme! Letting Go was a small pen drawing on card coloured with colour pencils. My intention was to capture a moment of release, to let go of burdens and be carefree. The first instance of Letting Go had a little girl in a mushroom and toadstool grove and a sleeping cat and was created in 2010.

I was not fully satisfied with how the first drawing was finished and felt it would be interesting to revisit the drawing again in 2014. This was one of the first drawings I worked on since moving back to Penang in March of 2014. Instead of smooth card the second drawing was done on 300gsm cold press watercolour paper. I've placed the composition in a circle as I found it easier to contain the composition in this manner. The toadstool grove has grown, and a sleeping cat, little frog and steampunk seahorse now accompanies the girl. She has also grown up somewhat!

Sketch and the beginnings of inking.

The inking was done using Staedtler Pigment markers 

which was also used to ink the first drawing in 2010.

I had begun to work more with watercolours since 2012, and have gradually improved my skills. I would build up colour through many layers of wash and the cold press paper made it possible to do so. For this piece I used a 24-colour watercolour set by Schmincke for the first time. I liked this set for the way I am able to get a brilliant finish with the colours.

First wash tends to be very light as I begin blocking in colour.

Colouring is a slow and painstaking process in order to ensure the composition

stays balanced and stands out at the right places.

As each spot is filled up it becomes easier to choose the remaining

colours to fill in the rest!

I enjoy a saturated colour palette and placing complementary colours next to one another!

The finished piece!

The drawing was begun around March 2014 and completed in November 2014. Compositionally I feel this piece is stronger than the first drawing as the circular format really draws your eye into another world of fantasy and make-believe. Perhaps I will draw the same image again at a different time of my life and see how the picture has evolved! :)

Melancholy Dragon Hut

After looking back and re-evaluating where my drawings could go, I realized that what I''ve been drawing so far were imaginary landscapes and well...I've been imposing how I feel on these external views. Not sure how to say it but what I really want to explore now are my insides, my thoughts, emotions and spirit.

I really love doll houses and models, so I was inspired one day to 'hey, let's draw interiors!'. So this is the first of my foray inside my inside lol! Not a very happy one, then again that's how I was feeling. But it was fun to work with the depth and the surface patterning of the clouds to convey a sense of oppression. I was feeling trapped in my head and my little apartment.

I hope later drawings will be more fun with imagination types but the common theme would be exposing truths about family and relationships to me. Thank you for staying with me on my journey so far and I hope you enjoy this new phase of my travels! :D

...and I've also resolved to talk less and let my drawings do the talking! :p

Neptune - Completed

Finished this piece a while ago but didn't get to post it till now. I liked how the dark, swirly water looked at the upper left corner! I was a bit worried how it was going to be because I don't want it to be too dark to upset the balance of the whole piece. So, IMHO, it matches the swirly patterns on the sea-gods body quite well :)

Overall, really enjoyed the lines and darks as usual hehe! Not sure if this might end up being coloured, but I'm brushing up on my digital painting skills so this might be next! Or maybe I'll finish 'The Girl and the Monster' first...waaaah such a backlog!!! XD

Whuh?

Sometimes I go through these periods of frustration and confusion, usually brought about by becoming stuck in just doing lol. Means I become stuck in not having enough time and having too many things to do! I don't have time to relax or chill or have fun! 

Well...that tends to happen to me a lot. Learning to deal with it, or accept it and move on. Why a rant before the drawing? Cuz the drawing has everything to do with what I just went through, it was a moment of getting myself back to equilibrium again. My own space, my own life! :D I've no idea how the image came about lol, just felt a really urgent need to sketch and the first thing I drew was the girl's face! Aaaaand then she's caressing something! Which happens to be an oversized Neptune head...yeah. It was drawing on the go hehe! :P No pre-planning just go with the feeling~

 Square drawing this time around. I think it is working out really well! Trying not to go overboard with the lines because it is a small piece and and easily get 'hairy'.

Closeup. 

Music listened to were soundtracks from Sucker Punch and We Bought a Zoo. I'm lovin' it! :D

The Spider Cafe - Completed

It all starts with a spider's photo and a lil' thumbnail sketch...I like how my ideas appear, it's as if they are beamed to me or something!

 Amazing what a little idea can transform into given the time and effort! I'm very happy with how this turned out! I like my clouds swirly and my toadstools stripey...

 Detail of the cafe. I added in the flying creatures after my mom commented how there was not enough movement in the skies.

 This was the part giving me so much grief near the end. Soph saw it and commented how everything was blending into one another so I darkened the darks and it all clicked! That was the best feeling ever. It's like scratching an itch between your shoulder blades or something!

The other thing that got me all excited was when I took out my other drawings while taking photos of the Spider Cafe...and I realized I've got 8 drawings!!! 3 A2 sized ones (The Sky Whale, Deep Ocean, The Spider Cafe) and 5 medium sized ones (The Embrace, Lord Nevermore, The Meeting, Telling Tales, The Tree of Dreams). I've got two more ideas, both A2 sized drawings, lined up after this and with 10 pieces complete dare I say...I'll have enough for an exhibition! YEEEAH!

I know I've been saying that for more than a year now but finally it doesn't seem too far away now! Though I've had these drawings up on my online portfolio but especially for the big ones, seeing it in person is a whole different experience :) So yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to next year~

The Spider Cafe - con't

The Spider Cafe has been crawling along for a while now. I begun this piece end of September. I got stuck with the bamboo grove. Once I got over that things began to roll along nicely! :)

 Getting into shape! Still not too sure what the background will be, this is how things usually work. When I get an idea I don't have the full composition in view. Just bits of it. And I'll fill in the blanks as I go :P This is more common for the A2 sized drawings than the smaller ones.

Close-up of the cafe. I love how the different textures turned out! And the pots and pans, various vegetables, that creepy cook and the clouds reflected in the fragmented glass on the top.

The Spider Cafe (W.I.P.)

Hmmm...

HMMM.....

So what is this about? I have no idea :P Suddenly the creaking image of a walking restaurant shaped like a spider came into my head. And it is making Teh Tarik (literally, pulled tea) lol! There is a menu tacked onto the wall of the cafe, some of the food offered are local fare and some are just plain made-up. The spider has some funky designs, that speak of grander days but have been outfitted to serve this purpose now. Not like it minds, it is simply content with preparing the special tea for its customers!

The cafe has stopped in a glade carpeted with low mushrooms that the customers can sit on and enjoy their meal and drink. Some wear bibs to protect their suits from getting food on them. The bowls have a spiral on the as do the bibs, with 8 legs radiating from it. That is the logo of the spider Cafe. On the right is a bamboo grove, and I have not decided what to do for the background yet. Interestingly enough, there are no humans in this piece. Only a snoozing cat :P

The shape of the Spider Cafe was inspired by this cool spider here! There is such an abundance of inspiration from nature :D

The Fable Reader / Telling Tales

This is progressing well! I actually began this one before the Meeting and Tree of Dreams but it got stalled for a while. Didn't get the feel of it until now, but that's the way it is :) I do have a few pieces that are stalled indefinitely (like At the Threshold) mainly because I've lost the story of the drawing. Well, sometimes it comes back, I just have to have patience! :P

Tree of Dreams

The Tree of Dreams grows on a high cliff, dreaming an endless sleep...

I really liked how this piece turned out. It was the better decision to redraw the whole thing again. The hammock creature is more lively, and stands out against the background. Detail getting a bit out of hand in the cliffs, especially after I added the ocean, but overall it pulled together really well! :)

My favourite part of the drawing experience is the final 20%...when a piece is just about done, and I'm tweaking the shadows and focus. That's when you're about the see the results of your hard work haha :D So yeah, happily finished and as soon as it was done another idea came into my head, so stay tuned for... The Spider Cafe! :)

Take Two

Was working on this drawing and rushed it somewhat, all the lines sort of became muddled and I did something I've NEVER done before - redraw the whole thing from scratch! At first it got a little confusing as I was still trying to make the new drawing exactly the same as the old one. That was the first thing to let go. Copying was never my forte so I allowed the new drawing to breathe and evolve. It still retained the feel of the previous piece, but many of the details have been worked over :)

The first drawing. I'll probably use this to test out how to draw the ocean, but won't be a finished piece.

Second drawing - much cleaner and better control of the lines. Really giving it time to grow instead of rushing the process! :)

The Fable Reader (in Progress)

This came out of nowhere...I sat down with a pen one day and just drew. Made up the creatures as I went as well :P

Been reading the Amphigorey books by Edward Gorey, I just love his use of lines! :)

Untitled (Big Fish) Work in Progress

Drew this little drawing two years ago on a memo pad paper. Something about happily sitting on a buoyant jellyfish lol :P Now after two years the image comes back again and I set out to draw it on huge paper. Yes, this is another BIG drawing! :D

Vastly different from the original sketch, only thing I kept was the girl on the sea jello :P That is what a difference of two years can do to a piece!

Haven't drawn for a while so feels a bit rusty...

The big picture! Starting to get the hang of all those lines!

The fish is a lot more ornate this time...my attempt to channel steampunk lol. I do love my cyborg/mutant/hybrid creatures. Let's see where this drawing can go!

Misty River

Tranquility.

Abyss

Fear Him.

Drawing has always been an outlet for me and the origin of this piece is an interesting one. Although I'm typing this after it's all blown over so yes, it is interesting in hindsight but while it was actually happening it scared the shit out of me. This is about the anger and fear in me. All of us have it, a darkness inside. I finally took my first steps to address and accept this and to stop consciously feeding it, which is what I have been training myself to do my whole life. As long as I keep it fed, I can go on 'living', that is functioning normally in society. But that was only surviving in the shadow of my ego. It does not give me the freedom to be my higher self!

So I've been reading about ego and painbody from Eckhart Tolle's New Earth. Such a marvelous book. I was having these bouts of depression and I couldn't understand why I could not be appreciative of all I have. What it was is that I was becoming conscious of my ego and the painbody attached to it, and it doesn't like that one bit! Oh nooooo....and all these negativity just suddenly came up attacked me! I blamed everyone and myself, and felt there is no meaning to life anymore etc. I felt suicidal. All my worst fears assaulted me - fear of losing loved ones, fear of not being acknowledged, fear of not being right, fear of becoming nothing.

I wrote all my anger in my journal, and now that I read back on it, I can clearly see the form that my ego takes. Those words in capital letters shouting out from those pages were the screams of the ego losing its power over my being. But what a lot of fear I had to face! The cool thing about fear though, is once you've faced it, you'll realize that fear was nothing more than a mask for a deeper desire - to be loved. I used to equate that with being needed, useful and conforming to others' expectations. All a lot of 'needs' and nothing of 'being'. This little episode with my ego has taught me to finally break free of those expectations, and to face my fears and confront the anger in me; worth it all for the joy and peace I am feeling now!

I am prone to complacency, so I still have an arrogance in me. this is the first test I've passed but by no means the last. Life if the sum of our courage, fears, success and failures. I have learned tremendously on this journey and I couldn't have done it without strong external support from my friends and family! We are never alone so reach out if you can and take that hand offered to you. You will find that it makes all the difference :)